Love, A Couple Dozen Women

I asked a few dozen women to write notes to themselves. Together, bit by bit, we wrote this letter together. For my body, for your body and for all others. This one's for us.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Dear Body,

It's been a long time coming, hasn't it? We've fought to get to this point - a point I can face the mirror and see you for the very first time.

See you for what you are, not what you aren't.

See you as mine, not theirs.

See you as a masterpiece, not a mistake.

From as early as I can remember, you've carried me.

From my chair to the front of the classroom,

to one end of the soccer field to the other.

Through the mall before my first date,

and after the heartbreak of my last.

Across the stage at my graduation,

to the start of my exciting new job.

Onto the airplane of a new adventure,

and into my mother's arms after too long apart.

Down the aisle of the church where I grew up,

and to my knees at the bedside on my room.

From hospital rooms of new life,

and to the graveside of the ones I've loved.

Through the good and the bad, through the joy and the pain, in the moments I thought I'd surely break -- you carried me.

How often I wish I could have appreciated you earlier for your function over your appearance.

Your appearance is marked with a story - a story that only you and I know.

You hold my scars, my dreams, my wounds and my successes.

Like a tattoo, you've etched a picture of our life together through thoughtful curves and lines.

The color & texture of your skin was meant as a canvas for beautiful things.

The length of your torso was created to form life or cling tightly to the ones we love.

The width of your arms was carefully crafted to protect and empower.

The size of your feet was fashioned to take you wherever you needed to go.

The distance between your thighs was laid as a foundation for this house, shaped as unique as the house itself.

The shape of your eyes was made for a viewpoint and a vision that only you could have.

A perspective that the world couldn't have without you

- a way of seeing that is wholly yours.

From the size of my heart & the condition of my lungs

to the limbs I have or haven't -

you hold me.

You are the house, the temple and the place that holds it all together.

Through seasons of depression, anxiety or worry, I've tried to tell you who you are. Speaking words of fear, words of hate, words of slander -- words I thought were true. Lies I chose to believe. You've been foolish, fat, feeble, foul - too big, too small, too strong, too weak.

I've called you names, I've held my breath and I've put you through a pain that made a mockery of who you are.

When in fact you've known the truth all along -- while I desperately searched for someone, anyone to tell me. To tell me I was beautiful, to tell me I was right, to tell me I was worthy, to tell me I was more - more than the words I heard whispered, the thoughts I let run rampant in the middle of the night, and the lies I spewed when I looked at you in the mirror.

You knew who you were and you knew who's you are.

You were created - formed fearlessly and wonderfully.

You were fashioned to carry me, hold me, and know me.

To know me in my darkest, to know me in my brightest.

In every relationship I've drug you into or treated you to - through heartbreaks and heart attacks, respect and neglect.

To the arms of those who treat me right and back into the arms of those who treat me wrong. You've been my constant. My ever-changing, yet never-leaving sense of stability.

I haven't always been your greatest fan, but all along you were mine.

You've taught me that the love of myself is the greatest love of all.

That one or two people who treat you great are far better than a group of those who treat you good.

That respect comes from within before it ever comes from others.

That those who cheer you on from the bottom of their hearts belong at the top of the chart. And those that don't, belong on the way out the door.

You are not a maiden looking for a knight to save you from a dragon. You ARE the dragon.

I'm sorry for the way I made you feel as if everyone was saying horrible things about you. That you weren't small enough to fit in, that you were not small enough at all.

I'm sorry for comparing you to countless doctored images, unrealistic standards of perfection or "flawless" women I will never know.

I'm sorry for punishing you with hours in the gym, or nutrition that was less than you needed.

I'm sorry for discrediting your strength, because of the size of your jeans.

Or thinking you weren't worthy of love outside of a certain range on the scale.

For I've learned that losing/gaining weight is not my life's purpose.

We were not made to shrink - we were made to take up space.

Body, from now on I promise to:

Create habits that will help us BE better not look better.

Nourish you rather than starve you.

Speak truth over you and not fire.

Shift my focus to recognize what you CAN do, rather than what you can't.

Shower your uniqueness with pride, rather than guilt.

Celebrate the way you change and not punish you for doing so.

Grow with you, trust in you and find power in YOU.

You are worthy of the best love -

the kind of love that does not rely on anyone else's approval or adornment.

For it isn't by your looks that I am deemed a wonderful mother, sister, friend, wife, or lover.

It is because I am.

You are so much more than beautiful.

You are mine.

Uniquely, wholly and always.

Thank you for a heart that keeps beating, a mind that keeps dreaming

and a vessel that will carry me on and on.

Love,

A Couple Dozen Women

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Special thanks to the women who sent in their truths and letters for the collaborate writing of this letter. I hope you see yourself in its lines & hear your voice in my words.

I couldn't have written this without you. Thank you. xx.