I Lied to Myself this Morning.

What did you tell yourself today?

From the time you woke up & checked your phone...When you scrolled through what "you missed" last night or caught up on what she is doing this morning...When you showered - when you undressed and looked in the mirror...

What did you tell yourself?

When you got dressed - and picked out your outfit. When you flipped through your closet or slipped (wrestled) into those pants...

What did you tell yourself?

When you prepared your breakfast - were you punishing yourself for this weekend’s food? Fighting yourself over those egg whites you “should” have or that Café muffin you know you really want. Or when you were skipping the meal altogether...

What did you tell yourself?

When you arrived at work/at school/etc. when you saw everyone else - that girl who always looks so good - that boss that makes you feel inferior - that guy that just won’t lay off the jokes or that teacher that just won’t understand...

What did you tell yourself?

When you picked your lunch - from the fridge or from the menu - when you tried to impress those around you - when you tried to restrain yourself from overeating...just to binge when you get home... or when you overindulged because you were having a bad day...

What did you tell yourself?

When you got home and the house was a mess - when the laundry didn't do itself and the dishes wouldn’t dare try. When there "wasn’t enough time” in day. When someone around here had to make dinner...or when you missed your workout...again...

What did you tell yourself?

When you finished the day - after dinner - after Netflix - after meetings/pick-ups/soccer or drinks - when you climbed into bed - when you logged back in...

What did you tell yourself?

Before I even get out of bed in the morning, it’s hard for me to not think about the day ahead (what I’ll eat/drink, what I’ll wear, what I’ll do etc). Often times I start my day in-front of a screen and end my days in-front of a screen.

Before I am even able to properly sit up in bed or down my first cup of coffee, I've already caught up on the lives of about 52 strangers and read the headlines of 37 news outlets.

Really.

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Solomon said it best:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23)

That verse on my coffee mug hits my lips every day, yet hardly has time to reach my heart.

The heart is the "wellspring of life" - it is the source of everything we do - our jobs, our families, our faith, our friends...

The narrative we tell ourselves throughout the day often dictates the direction in which our lives flow.

If your heart is unhealthy, you too will be unhealthy.

Do you tell yourself you are a:

Failure?

Fat?

Unworthy?

Less than?

Stupid?

Terrible at commitment?

Destined to be alone?

A joke?

A fool?

Dramatic? Yes, a little. BUT our heads do not rationally tell our hearts who we are unless we dramatically take control of our narratives and fuel it with the truth.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”

I lied to myself this morning & told myself I wasn't good enough: that my job was a joke, that my routine was pathetic, that I was gaining weight, that my stomach looked pudgy, that my social schedule was lacking, that I would never reach my goals because I messed up again, that that leftover cookie I had for breakfast would ruin my whole day...

ALL BEFORE I HAD LEFT MY HOUSE.

This narrative left me feeling downright BLEH.

It's no wonder the wisest man who ever lived had something to say about our hearts.

I'm so dang good at telling myself lies.

And since you're a human, I think it is safe to say you are too.

Sometimes I wonder if the battle of comparison or self-worth isn’t found in The Who or What we meet in our day but rather in that little space between our heads & our hearts and the words you and I choose to tell ourselves.

Comparison (Body/Identity/Guilt/etc.) issues are heart issues.

This life isn't easy when we are constantly consumed with negative self-talk. Heck it wouldn't even be easy if we had Oprah Winfrey with a megaphone narrating our every move. (Unless she wants to tell me that I get a car...I could handle that easily!)

So I challenge you this week:

In the morning, when you first wake up.

At breakfast, when you eat your first meal.

At work, when you walk into those doors.

At lunch, when you make a food decision.

After work, when you miss your workout.

At home, when you are doing the laundry.

At night, when you crawl into bed.

And you scroll.

What will you tell yourself?

Before your head meets the pillow, I hope you take time to fuel yourself with truth. To take control of the source of your narrative. To audibly commit to guarding your head and your heart. To taking back your day/life/year from the enemy.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”

xx