Body Acceptance & Relationships

When I stopped being dependent on his affirmations of my body, our relationship changed. ⁣ ⁣ For years, all of my relationships with boys played the same game. I’d say something dramatically negative about my body shape and they’d respond as best they knew how to “affirm” me otherwise. ⁣ ⁣ It was a tip-toe, catch 22 of always knowing they wouldn’t ever say enough of the right thing to fill the void of years of body hatred and insecurity. ⁣ ⁣ Looking back now, I can recognize this cycle as abusive to both myself & my current muse — my insecurity was never theirs to fix. My boyfriend was never going to be the one who came riding in on a white horse to save me from decades of diet culture & disordered eating. ⁣ ⁣ It was always only the girl deep inside me, buried beneath an expectation I’d put in myself to be skinnier — to be smaller. ⁣ ⁣ Now, sits a girl who knows her worth beyond the scale & beyond the compliments of others. My worth isn’t found in LK. It isn’t found in his affirmations of my beauty or in the love we have together. And that’s how I like it. ⁣ ⁣ He’s a wonderful support system - he’s my best friend & the one who’s constantly encouraging me to see myself through a lens of love. ⁣ ⁣ He believes the loveliest things about me - but it’s most important that i believe those things about myself first. ⁣ ⁣ And because I do, I can show up as my full unhindered self to love him right back. And that’s how he likes it.